One Choice to Lose It All
by RaphSai03
Summary: Leonardo fell in love with his little brother and the Shredder's daughter alike, indulging in a relationship with both at the same time. The clock is ticking, though, and he only has one night to choose his forever and always. Raphanardo, Leorai, rated T for language, R&R


Karai gripped the back of his neck with all of her might, a tiresome look in her soft, Amber eyes. She didn't want him to leave her, and she was willing to scream out every emotion she'd ever felt if it meant he'd stay.

When she went to speak, her voice cracked in a thousand ways; like glass against pavement, love fell back against desperation. "I'm sorry," she croaks, "that I'm not good enough."

Leonardo placed a hand on the small of her back, whilst the other caressed her small, well-sculpted face. "No," he denied with a firm shake of his head. "Being good enough, or not good enough, plays no role in this."

Karai clenched her teeth so fiercely that she was afraid they might break under pressure. Pushing away from her supposed-lover, she whipped around to face the city. Her eyes wandered everywhere—the city line,

gathering stars that were beyond vivid against the reflection of the street lamps. The moon. And him, Leonardo.

He was so flawless, with his pearly white set of teeth and eyes that shown with admiration. He stood straight up, despite his relaxed mood. Perhaps relaxed was the wrong word to describe him. He certainly looked relaxed, acted relaxed. But Leonardo has always hid his emotions, except for when it came to love and affection. And anger. Nevertheless, he was filled with fear. He didn't want to lose Karai. He didn't want to lose Raphael, either.

Leonardo had fallen for both his brother and the Shredder's daughter. For months, he went on seeing them both, convincing himself that he would chose one over the other soon enough. Quickly, though, he became addicted to both of his partners. Only recently had he come clean.

It's a bitter war—Raphael and Karai already hate each other enough—and it doesn't make it any easier when Leonardo, the only one who can call for a cease fire, is caught in the middle. It's a game of tug-of-war.

"I'll never even begin to compare to him, though." Karai's heart sighed. So much pain was built up in there, she couldn't help but feel defeated. "You love him so much."

Now, it was Leonardo's turn to clench his teeth and ball his hands into tight, merciless fists. "No, Karai, I love you!" He shouted louder than he'd meant to.

Two souls glided towards each other on the top of the Byerly building. They met in the middle for a brief kiss, the kind that sends shivers running down your back, and leaves you wanting more.

He pulled back first, but not far. He rests his forehead on hers, smiling as they breathed the same air. "I love you, please don't ever let yourself think otherwise."

Leonardo's thumb rests at the corner of Karai's lips, which are yanked into a deep, unforgiving frown. She doesn't dare move, she likes this position, with their foreheads pressed against each other and him caressing her face. Her hands are on his shoulders, tugging him closer. But not too close. She doesn't want to kiss him, no, she wants to speak and be heard, to be understood.

"You love Raphael, too, though," she pouts. Her eyes grow to be misty, lined with tears that could ruin her makeup in only a few short moments. "We can't go on like this, Leo, you need to chose. It's him or me."

He couldn't decide, though. He's known in his heart, since the moment this fiasco began, that he would one day have to make the lawful decision to be with either Karai or Raphael. Even after months and months of thoughtful consideration, he still couldn't pinpoint who he loved more.

Karai pushed away from Leonardo, shaking her head. It was as if she was in denial with the situation all together; she had a feeling that, in the end, Leo would disappoint her, and the weighing gleam in his sapphire eyes was enough to prove her right.

"Go, then," Karai screeched, holding back a wave of tears. "Go back to your stupid boyfriend!" She howled louder than the wind.

With a tight set of pursed lips, Leonardo attempted to comfort the woman before him. He reached out, placing a hand on the back of each of her shoulders. She shrugged him off. "I don't want your pity love," she spat mercilessly as she turned back to face the terrapin.

This was enough to make Leonardo frown. Gazing into her wonderful set of amber eyes, he questioned what he could've done to get rid of the sadness that haunted her innocent stare.

Once again, he made a move. Gently, slowly, Leonardo placed one of his large hands on Karai's frail body, this time on her hip. "This is not out of pity, I promise." A wet, glistening, salty tear drifted down from where it dwelled in Leo's eye. The next three words he spoke gave life, meaning, a purpose, to that fragile little tear. "I love you."

A statement, made of pure simplicity, was consistent of only three aching syllables, couldn't've had more of an impact on a relationship held between an eighteen and nineteen year old.

Arms folded across her metal baring chest, Karai pouted—mind you, it wasn't a sad sight, the deadly glare in her eyes subtracted from the sympathy. "No. No, don't say that. I hate you," she hissed with venomous words. "You never loved me."

"Never loved you?" Leonardo asks in disbelief. His words are airy, practically a gasp. He couldn't believe what Karai had just said. "If I never loved you, then why would I risk my shell coming out here for you every night? Why would I take beatings from my father rather than tell him about our secret meetings? Why would I bend the rules so fiercely if it weren't for a reason? Why the hell would every last ounce of me be fighting for you if I didn't love you?!"

Leonardo's voice is louder now, hollering over the raging winds. Karai doesn't back down, refuses to cower against her boyfriend's yelling.

"I don't fucking know, alright?! I don't understand any of this. You're a mutant turtle, a freak! And I'm a human girl. I could have anyone else, so why did I choose you?" A terrified gleam in her Amber eyes betrays her hateful tone completely, confusing Leonardo utterly. "I shouldn't have fallen for you. This is wrong."

"That, or you just don't want to admit to your feelings," Leonardo suggests with a shrug. "You've said it so many times tonight, Karai, you love me. The only reason you're denying it is because you don't want to be hurt when I don't choose you."

Eyes widening, Karai smirks. "So it isn't me, huh? I'm not the lucky one?"

Leonardo pursues his lips, a disapproving shimmer igniting his sapphire eyes. He hadn't been expecting to choose between his two partners tonight, otherwise he's sure he would have made his mind up earlier in the day. Now, when it's a last minute split decision, he doesn't know what to say. He's afraid that his choice is going to be swayed by the beauty in front of him. This could be his biggest mistake, choosing one over the other. He can't choose the wrong one, this has to be perfect.

So he looks at what he loves and hates about both Karai and Raphael, picking out every minor detail he can possibly think of.

She's dauntless and cunning, with a strong smirk to accompany her personality perfectly. Not to mention her body. The perfect amount of curves and bulges, hair that's softer than silk. And her laugh, dear lord, her laugh is a masterpiece in itself, music to his ears. She's his dream girl.

But that's just about where the glories end. Karai isn't sincere, doesn't compliment Leonardo or talk well into the night with him. In fact, the social aspect of their relationship just about ends at flirting. They don't have long conversations discussing their future together. Nor do they ever sit hand in hang, merely staring into each other's eyes rather than kissing. Guess who does do all of this, though?

Raphael.

He's the face of love, the sort of boyfriend that no body thinks the need until they have him. He's the right balance between physical and emotional; he knows where the kisses and flirts end and where the hugs and words of comfort begin. He knows Leonardo better than anyone in the world, he listens to his rants and holds him while we cries. Raphael is exactly what Leo needs.

Yet, he isn't.

Because he's angry. Fuck, he doesn't go a day without yelling at Leonardo at least once! The latter can't stand the formers glare, it makes him feel weak and mistreated, as if he were in the wrong place. "I don't deserve this," he'll murmur to himself when he's reached a state of solitude once more, "I deserve better than this."

What exactly is better, though? Unconditional love? Such a thing ceases to exist, much to the world's dismay.

Sighing, Leonardo comes to the realization that there is no right to this choice, only a wrong. Many wrongs.

"No, Karai, you aren't the one for me. No matter how hard we tried, we never have and never will work. I think it's best if I let you go." Leonardo nods along with his own words. He gulps, holding back a wave of tears. Saying goodbye to her isn't going to be easy, he never would've expected it to be. He loved her, both on the surface and deep down.

"That's fine. I respect your decision. I just hope you know that this does mean that we're back to trying to kill each other," Karai says slyly, with a playful smirk dancing across her cherry lips.

Leonardo chuckles. "Of course, darling."

They depart after a brief hug. Karai gets away just in time, as the second she leaps onto the building beside Byerly, the dam breaks, setting a wave of tears free to flow down her face. She's sobbing and hiccuping and sniffling. And for once in two years, no one was there to dry her tears.

* * *

Leonardo trudged through the lair entrance, a grief stricken expression dulling his usual beam. It was late, so late, that even Donatello was in bed. Leo could hear his little brother's snores as he passed by his door in the hall.

Slipping quietly into his own bedroom, Leonardo untied his mask and tossed it carelessly onto his desk.

"Hey, Raph," he muttered. His exhaustion was clearly broadcasted through the greeting, even without the yawn that followed. He just wanted to go to bed, to deal with Raphael in the morning. He cursed his boyfriend for not leaving him alone.

"Hey, babe." Raph wrapped his arms around his lover from behind, pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of Leonardo's head. "How was it with Karai?"

Raphael knew where his partner was going when he left earlier in the night. Leonardo couldn't help but he honest; for, these days, it seemed that truth was all that's was good for.

"I broke up with her." He confessed with a shrug.

Smiling, Raphael spun the blue cladded turtle around. Their eyes didn't meet, no, Leonardo was too busy admiring that grin to notice anything else. Labeling it as attractive would be an understatement, while sexy was too childish. It was perfect, that's what it was. It was what drove Leonardo to kissing his little brother in the first place.

"That's good, now we can be together officially."

Leonardo opened his mouth to object, but quickly shut it. Raphael was so sure that this meant happily-ever-after, and it killed Leo to have to take that from his boyfriend. He loved Raphael as much as Karai, if not more. He didn't want to see him hurt.

But he couldn't play Raph like this, not when he'd only end up calling the relationship off anyway. Better to get it done and over with now, while Leo's heart was already shattered.

"Actually, babe, I have something to tell you." Leonardo was slow to talk, letting every syllable linger on his tongue longer than it needed to.

Raphael tilted his head and furrowed his brow. "'Bout what?"

Sighing, Leonardo massaged his temple. "Sit down, you'll take this better if you're relaxed."

Raph obeyed, although, he was still radiating apprehension like the sun does heat.

"I broke up with Karai because I didn't think that our relationship was going to work out. There were things about her that I just couldn't stand, despite how much I cared about her. I knew that the best choice would be to set her free so that she could find someone who would love every last inch of her, not just a majority. That is also the reason why I am letting you go."

Leonardo paused, waiting for Raphael to interfere, to argue or lash out. He didn't, and that's what was the matter. He didn't lash out. He say there, absorbing the words being laid out before him as if he couldn't think of anything better to do.

Kneeling down in front of Raphael, Leo took his hands and smiled up at him. "I love you, Raphie, more than anyone. I want to choose you, I want to choose you so fucking bad! But there are so many things that I can't keep going through—things that would continue to happen if I stayed with you.

"I care about you, sweetheart, you're the moon to my sun. But we don't need each other, just as the moon and sun don't need each other, the earth does. Do you get what I'm saying?" Leonardo couldn't help but ramble on, attempting to make this easier in every way possible.

"No," Raphael shakes his head, "I don't."

"What I'm trying to say, is that there are people who need both me and you. But, we don't need each other."

Silence crept into the room, slipping in from beneath the door and through the vents. It polluted the air, making it hard to breathe. Leonardo couldn't stand another second without a response.

Finally, he got one.

"You're right, we don't need each other," Raphael agreed with a nod.

Even though he was the one who so rightly brought up the point, Leonardo's heart breaks a little more at the statement. He wanted Raphael to argue, to fight for their relationship. They'd been together for four months, and brothers for eighteen years. Raph was supposed to hold on and refuse to let go.

Karai hadn't fought very hard, either. She accepted the fate of the breakup even after 2 years of a strong relationship.

To Leonardo, this was a sign that the phrase both of his partners recited to him so many times—I love you—was false. If they loved him, they wouldn't shrug and say, "alright," when he threatened to break up with them. If they loved him, they wouldn't let him go.

Furthermore, he mustn't've loved them either, considering he was the one who called it all off.

"But, can we still lay together, just for tonight?" There's a spark of hope in Raphael's emerald eyes, looking like a lantern against the solemn darkness that surrounds.

Smiling softly, Leonardo nods. "Of course."

He crawled onto the bed, pulling the blankets over himself and Raphael. They cuddled up against each other, inhaling each other's natural musk. In their last few moments of wake, Leonardo told a lie.

"I love you."

There never came a reply.

* * *

The sun's rays defied the glass that confined them to the outside world, slipping through the cracks in the blinds despite the barrier. The light tickles Leonardo's eyelids, urging him open them up and witness the earlier morning view. He does.

Yawning, Leonardo sits up slowly, as to not wake the sleeping body beside him. Crossing his legs over each other, he shifts, positioning himself in a way that he's sitting in front of his companion's face, looming over him as he slept.

Delicately, Leo placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking him lightly. "Rise and Shine, sleepyhead," he cooed.

French blue eyes fluttered open, meeting Leonardo's instantly. The face they belonged to couldn't suppress an instantaneous grin. "Good morning, love."

A hand reached for Leonardo's. It was small compared to his—covered in fur that was whiter than snow—yet, it a held a grip tighter than anyone ever had on the terrapin's three fingered hand. It wasn't going to let go; ever.

"Lay down, I'm not ready to wake up just yet."

Leonardo obeyed the deep voice, crawling back under the maroon comforter. He snuggled up close to the other man, burying his face in the silky white fur that covered his chest.

"I love you, Usagi," Leonardo's voice was steady as he made the confession. He said it a million times a day to the rabbit, yes, but each time he spoke the phrase it felt different. As, each time it was recited, he was even deeper into their romance than the time before.

Closing his eyes, Usagi rested his chin atop Leonardo's emerald green head. "I love you, Leonardo-San."

Leo couldn't help but blush every time Usagi confessed his love. It felt different coming from him than it had from Karai and Raphael. Perhaps, because this time, it's true.

A week after breaking up with Karai and Raphael, Leonardo fled the city of New York to go to Japan. It was originally meant to be a two week trip that would help him clear his head. After fourteen days, he would return home and resume his position as leader of the Hamato Clan. After only being there for five days, though, Leonardo met a Yojimbo named Usagi. He was kind, honorable, and respectful.

The pair happened upon each other in the woods one evening, when Leonardo had been searching for food. Politely, Usagi questioned the turtle on his journey, wondering why he was so deep into the forest at dusk. When the reptilian explained his situation, the rabbit offered to show him a patch of berries.

What started as an act of graciousness grew to become a long night of laughing and talking over a fire constructed by the lonesome logs around them. It wasn't very shocking to either party when they continued to get to know each other in the coming days.

Soon, the duo was practically inseparable. Leonardo postponed his return to New York until it wasn't even a thought anymore. He never wanted to leave Usagi.

A year had passed when the Yojimbo confessed his love for the Samurai. It was the beginning of a blooming relationship, the kind that made onlookers stop to marvel. An unexpected romance between a bunny and a turtle couldn't've been truer, despite the obvious difference in appearances.

Usagi's family attempted to convince him to find a mate of his own species, while Leonardo's disapproved of the relationship merely because it was keeping him from returning home. But the couple couldn't've cared any less, they were happy for once in their lives, and they refused to let anyone take that away from them.

Now, four years later, they're living together in a cabin hidden between the safety of Japanese mountains.

They're two months married, bound by honor and trust and love and respect. No one knows of this, as it needn't be important to anyone other than Leonardo and Usagi. They sought happiness and found it in each other, not anyone else.

Holding the his spouse in his arms, Leonardo grinned wider than he ever had. He finally found the unconditional love he'd been searching so passionately for; and he wasn't going to let it go.

So, with a tight grip, Leonardo pulled Usagi closer to him, whispering words that meant more to him than anything he'd ever spoken; "You're mine, and I am never going to let you go, my love; ever."

Finally, Leonardo had made the right choice.

To claim what was rightfully his, and to stay forever.


End file.
